The profession of medicine could not operate without nurses. It's not a secret to anyone who has ever been to a doctor's appointment or had a hospital stay that the nurses define our experience and even recovery process perhaps more than any other medical professional we encounter. We may be having a routine procedure, setting up a regular appointment, or having a serious conversation with the doctor; but the presence of a nurse may shape how well the patient deals with the situation and psychologically handles the outcome.
Those of us with illness can be quick to criticize the nurses who hardly acknowledge us, who forget to bring our medications when we are in the hospital, and who seem to enjoy their job as the gatekeeper to their doctor a little too much.
That said, chronically ill patients have a long list of encounters with nursing staff over the years, so we also have the advantage of being able to warm-heartedly recollect the nurses who made undeniable improvements in our healthcare. Perhaps she was an advocate on our behalf when no one else would listen. She may have looked the other way when visiting hours at the hospital were over. Or maybe she just held your hand while you had a painful (and lonely) medical procedure.
Recently, when I was checked into the hospital, the nurse from the wound care center had to push me in a wheelchair through an outside maze of a construction zone walkway. Ironically, she shared that she too had rheumatoid arthritis like myself. I felt like I made a new friend in those ten minutes and she made me much more comfortable in getting to my destination.
As the editor of HopeKeepers Magazine, I have tried to get a nurse to write an article explaining what a typical day is like at a doctor's office where she is employed. I know many minutes are filled with frantic scheduling issues, checking patients in, trying to please the physicians, all while doing more that can be expected in the time allotted.
No one has volunteered. One even said, "If word got out, I would lose my job!"
By understanding each others needs however, we can only improve the long term relationship between the nurse and the patient. Sadly, many marriages don't last as long as the nurse/patient relationship!
Here are 12 ways to better understand the chronically ill patient.
[1] When you ask what medications I am currently taking, please don't look flabbergasted or skeptical when I pull out a couple of sheets of paper. I'm really not an addict.
[2] I grew weary of always been patient and only having everyone interested in what my body is doing. When you ask me how I am doing emotionally or coping with my illness, I feel like you really do care and I will naturally be more forthcoming about my physical symptoms that may be beneficial for the doctor to know.
[3] Thanks for celebrating little things with me, such as reaching a goal weight or decreasing a medication. I know you see these things every day, but to me they are a big deal. You are one of the few people who understand how hard it is for a chronically ill patient to reach these goals. Your enthusiasm makes me day!
[4] Practically, I realize that you are not able to keep up to date on every medication that is out there on the market, but when you have to ask me how to spell the name of my drug three times, which happens to have an ad in all the best-selling magazines, I question how often you get out of the office.
[5] When you say things like, "You cope so well with your disease. I really admire what a great attitude you have," that can keep me going for another week.
[6] I'm thankful for the times you ask "Can I pray for you?" Though some of your patients will say no, for many it will be the first time someone has ever cared enough to ask.
[7] There are times when I am have been having a medical procedure and my family is not able to be there. I know it's a minor procedure for you, but the fact that you understand it's a major procedure to me, and you stick around and hold my hand, is one of the nicest things anyone ever does for me.
[8] I am what some call a "professional patient" so when I'm in the hospital, I struggle with giving you control over all of my medications to disperse on your schedule. I'm used to taking care of myself and monitoring my own pain levels. When you make an effort to get me my medications on time, I appreciate you going the extra mile. The time of morning I take my medications makes only difference in my pain level for the day.
[9] I know you have bad days too. Feel free to tell me "Today has been a little crazy." You are allowed to be grumpy, but let me know if I am not specifically the cause of your mood and to the so I don't take it personally.
[10] When I'm trying to schedule an appointment for a specific day, or you are trying to reach me and I'm unavailable, I'm not trying to be difficult. Although a lot of my time is filled with doctors appointments, therapies, lab tests, etc. I'm also trying to have as normal of life as possible and give my family the same thing.
[11] I appreciate it when you are able to call in prescriptions so they are ready at the pharmacy when I get there. I know it's an extra step for you, but it helps me tremendously.
[12] When I'm in the hospital, I'm very grateful for the things you help me to do such as shower, change the sheets on the bed, or even just have a conversation to distract me from the pain. It makes a difference in my stay. Thanks for not treating me like a project, but a person.
Being chronically ill is not easy. Neither is the career of a nurse. By each person remembering to say, "thank you" and "I admire your strength," both the nurse and the patient can have an effective, even enjoyable, relationship.
Those of us with illness can be quick to criticize the nurses who hardly acknowledge us, who forget to bring our medications when we are in the hospital, and who seem to enjoy their job as the gatekeeper to their doctor a little too much.
That said, chronically ill patients have a long list of encounters with nursing staff over the years, so we also have the advantage of being able to warm-heartedly recollect the nurses who made undeniable improvements in our healthcare. Perhaps she was an advocate on our behalf when no one else would listen. She may have looked the other way when visiting hours at the hospital were over. Or maybe she just held your hand while you had a painful (and lonely) medical procedure.
Recently, when I was checked into the hospital, the nurse from the wound care center had to push me in a wheelchair through an outside maze of a construction zone walkway. Ironically, she shared that she too had rheumatoid arthritis like myself. I felt like I made a new friend in those ten minutes and she made me much more comfortable in getting to my destination.
As the editor of HopeKeepers Magazine, I have tried to get a nurse to write an article explaining what a typical day is like at a doctor's office where she is employed. I know many minutes are filled with frantic scheduling issues, checking patients in, trying to please the physicians, all while doing more that can be expected in the time allotted.
No one has volunteered. One even said, "If word got out, I would lose my job!"
By understanding each others needs however, we can only improve the long term relationship between the nurse and the patient. Sadly, many marriages don't last as long as the nurse/patient relationship!
Here are 12 ways to better understand the chronically ill patient.
[1] When you ask what medications I am currently taking, please don't look flabbergasted or skeptical when I pull out a couple of sheets of paper. I'm really not an addict.
[2] I grew weary of always been patient and only having everyone interested in what my body is doing. When you ask me how I am doing emotionally or coping with my illness, I feel like you really do care and I will naturally be more forthcoming about my physical symptoms that may be beneficial for the doctor to know.
[3] Thanks for celebrating little things with me, such as reaching a goal weight or decreasing a medication. I know you see these things every day, but to me they are a big deal. You are one of the few people who understand how hard it is for a chronically ill patient to reach these goals. Your enthusiasm makes me day!
[4] Practically, I realize that you are not able to keep up to date on every medication that is out there on the market, but when you have to ask me how to spell the name of my drug three times, which happens to have an ad in all the best-selling magazines, I question how often you get out of the office.
[5] When you say things like, "You cope so well with your disease. I really admire what a great attitude you have," that can keep me going for another week.
[6] I'm thankful for the times you ask "Can I pray for you?" Though some of your patients will say no, for many it will be the first time someone has ever cared enough to ask.
[7] There are times when I am have been having a medical procedure and my family is not able to be there. I know it's a minor procedure for you, but the fact that you understand it's a major procedure to me, and you stick around and hold my hand, is one of the nicest things anyone ever does for me.
[8] I am what some call a "professional patient" so when I'm in the hospital, I struggle with giving you control over all of my medications to disperse on your schedule. I'm used to taking care of myself and monitoring my own pain levels. When you make an effort to get me my medications on time, I appreciate you going the extra mile. The time of morning I take my medications makes only difference in my pain level for the day.
[9] I know you have bad days too. Feel free to tell me "Today has been a little crazy." You are allowed to be grumpy, but let me know if I am not specifically the cause of your mood and to the so I don't take it personally.
[10] When I'm trying to schedule an appointment for a specific day, or you are trying to reach me and I'm unavailable, I'm not trying to be difficult. Although a lot of my time is filled with doctors appointments, therapies, lab tests, etc. I'm also trying to have as normal of life as possible and give my family the same thing.
[11] I appreciate it when you are able to call in prescriptions so they are ready at the pharmacy when I get there. I know it's an extra step for you, but it helps me tremendously.
[12] When I'm in the hospital, I'm very grateful for the things you help me to do such as shower, change the sheets on the bed, or even just have a conversation to distract me from the pain. It makes a difference in my stay. Thanks for not treating me like a project, but a person.
Being chronically ill is not easy. Neither is the career of a nurse. By each person remembering to say, "thank you" and "I admire your strength," both the nurse and the patient can have an effective, even enjoyable, relationship.
About the Author:
Lisa Copen is the founder of Invisible Illness Awareness Week held annually in Sept and featuring a 5-day virtual conference online. Follow Invisible Illness Week on Twitter for prizes and info. Blog about invisible illness on your site, be a featured guest blogger, meet others, read articles and lots more. Make a difference!
