Dealing With A Breakup The Steps of Recovery

By Faith J. Wyse

Are you dealing with a breakup at this time? I know it can hurt so bad while still not feeling like it's real at times. You may feel like you can't wait to see your ex at times and then have visions of going crazy on them the next. You need to realize this is all normal when you are dealing with a breakup.

There is almost always a mourning period after a breakup but there are steps you can take to help you get over your ex. These steps are in fact vital to your own mental endurance if you really are having a hard time getting over your ex. I know of one person who said it was easier to get over someone that died than it was to get over a breakup. The rationale for this is for the reason that there is always so much support after somebody dies, but when you go through a breakup everybody expects you to just get over it after a time.

One of the first steps you should take is to write down everything you are feeling and put it in a letter to your ex. Make sure you really let everything come out. Write about the times you shared together, good and bad. Talk about how and the reason you treasured them so much. Let them know how you truly are feeling about breaking up. Call them names at them on paper. Genuinely, write down whatever you want to because you aren't really going to let anybody read this letter.

After the letter is done you can go through the ritual of burning it and do it with some fuss. Light a candle and watch it burn slowly or go to a bonfire and celebrate the burning of the letter. Whatever way you feel would make you feel that you have vented and gone through a real ritual to help you on the road to getting over your ex.

The second thing you want to do is to make sure the two of you have exchanged any individual possessions that may be in your homes. You have some things your ex wants and your ex almost certainly has stuff you want so make preparations to swap all of the belongings that belong to each of you.

If by some possibility there are things that your ex does not choose to take back (personal stuff) such as a razor or toothbrush for instance, throw this stuff out immediately. You don't need to be reminded of your ex every time you turn around, especially as you are in the course of getting over the breakup.

You may want to consider storing some of the things that your ex gave you, at least for a while. Wearing any jewelry or other stuff your ex gave you will also only serve to make you think about them and again, you just don't need to be thinking about them always at this time. You can always take the stuff back out and see if you even still want to keep it, once you have begun to truly get over your ex.

Straightening out any money matters between the two of you as quickly as possible should also be taken care of. If you owe your ex money and can pay it back, do it a soon as possible. Divide up any bank accounts you may have jointly also, and be sure to simply close those accounts.

It actually is necessary that you begin to work your ex out of your life if you choose to get over them. The best way to do get over somebody is to quit seeing them and wondering about them all the time so getting rid of everything to do with them for now is imperative.

As soon as you feel that you have taken care of the required steps, you should have unconditionally no dealings with your ex for a minimum of 30 days if not longer. This will give you time to begin living and building your life without them. Don't call or text, email etc. and by no means meet you ex at this time. Whether it be your favorite bar or a church you went to together, agree in advance of time who will remain away for the next 30 day period.

Once some time has passed and you feel that you have begun to move on, you'll be able to start to interact with your ex again if you choose to do so. Dealing with a breakup is very difficult, so take the time you need to start the recovery process and you will begin to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

About the Author: